friday five

I'm sorry this is late. But with my past week, you should be proud of me for even attempting.

Top 5 Reasons Short Hair Is Good
I'm warming up to it, and I figure this can't hurt.

1. Showering time is cut in half. I never knew how much time shampooing and conditioning all that hair really took, not to mention the time wringing water out of it via a towel. I can now shower and blow it dry it about the same time it took me to simply shower and clip it up before.

2. My earrings are now uber prominent. Not that you could miss the two inch silver angel wings before, but now that my earrings generally go past the tips of my hair, they're definitely noticeable. I like this. I take pride in my jewelry.

3. I'm more encouraged to wear scarves. I didn't always utilize my collection of a dozen scarves, but they're definitely making a comeback. Without hair to cover the back of my neck, it's now mandatory for me to be swathed in a scarf, or I'm one unhappy camper (like how I spun that negative into a positive?).

4. It's an adventure. With my long hair, I sort of knew what to expect, what styles would work well in what situations, how it would look if I did this or that. Now, it's like waking up and beginning a jungle safari with my hair. If I hold the brush at this angle, how will it ultimately dry? How much of this product is necessary? It's a constant guessing game, that's for sure.

5. I get a lot of compliments. Not going to lie, my ego sincerely appreciates it, since I can't shake the nasty feeling that I look like a boy.

i think about how it might have been

I'm a bit terrified of tomorrow.

My hair and I have always had a strange relationship. It's always been the most beautiful part of me, I know that, and It knows that. When I was little, everyone loved my hair. It was long, thick and shiny, and everyone played with it so much that I finally became sick of the attention and banned the attention. I regret that decision now. I didn't realize how that gesture could soothe the stress. By now, I'm too old, they've learned not to, blah, blah, all the excuses. But I miss having my hair stroked, I miss that calm, I miss that security and reminder of childhood.

Right now, it is the longest it has been since I last cut it for Locks of Love (which was over 3 years ago), and perhaps the longest it's been ever. It's almost to the small of my back, I can reach my arm around and not even lift a finger to touch it. And it's still the most beautiful part of me. I know that. It can be curled, it can be straight, it can be all big and wavy, and somehow, I can always feel attractive when I've got those layers to flip over my shoulder.

But the day after tomorrow, it's all going away. And to be 100% vain and 100% transparent, I'm honest-to-God, drama-free, terrified that with It goes my one claim to beauty. I'm Jo March, trading her locks for... what? A Greater Cause? I can only hope. Because I'm so scared I'm going to be ugly when my hair is gone, that it will be painfully obvious I'm still just a chubby, short Asian girl who just wants to be praised. Only now, there might not be anything worth praising.

Don't lie and tell me looks don't matter. I'm beginning to think that in this world, along with death and taxes, that's the only fact that will never change.

She brought weekend boys home in her curls

I got a haircut today.

And if this isn't proof of my psychosis, I don't know what is...

I absolutely love it, but she cut it shorter than I anticipated.  Way shorter.  Though it's still long in the back, the top layers are barely skimming my shoulders.

I want to bawl.