change, change, change

This weekend I have been incredibly worn and depressed and emotional. I spent most of Sunday crying, trying to get the what felt like mountains of homework done through my tears, reluctant to return to my own home because of some guests my parents invited over that I did not want to see and trying to figure out why my entire self esteem was in the crapper.

It was not a good weekend.

My saving grace is having parents who love me, though sometimes not in the way I want them to. They have been fantastic this weekend, and I could barely bring myself to leave my house on Monday because I didn't want to leave their warmth and support.

I'm doing better. I'm still stressed, still upset, still really unhappy. But at least right now I'm not feeling like my only option is to retreat to bed and stay there for three months. I'm writing for The Eagle, for the first time this semester, something that I'm excited about and want to do well - and if I've been procrastinating on it... well, that's just the story of this semester. I'm remembering why I chose this 180 of a major, I'm taking pride that maybe those A's weren't a fluke after all.

It's the best feeling in the world to get into something that you haven't done in a long time and find yourself, if not succeeding, at least not failing the way you thought you would. The words are coming, the quotes are there and I am so lucky to be able to tell this story.

friday five

Yes, it's late, and I apologize.

Top 5 Good Things About This Semester

Because the list was originally "Top 5 Bad Things" and then I realized, nobody likes a party pooper.

1. My awesome law professor. He came and spoke to my reporting class last semester and he was the coolest cat ever. He used to be a defense lawyer, so he had some pretty amazing stories, and he had this easy-going yet incredibly intelligent way about him that makes me think maybe my Monday night block will not be like stabbing myself in the eye with a spork.

2. Being 21. I know, it'd make more sense for this item to be in a "Top 5 Good Things About Last Semester" but think about it- for about 2/3 of last semester, I wasn't. So. Here's to being 21 for my final semester of school, and being able to drink whatever I want from January to May.

3. A Lighter Bag. I.E., I don't have FOUR classes in a row on Mondays and Thursdays. Elie and Mrs. Rice will attest to the ridiculousness of it the past semester, and thank god this semester the most classes I have in a row are two, and at the moment, neither of those have any books (and might not, because they're both news design/multimedia classes). Booyah!

4. A New Music Editor. Not that I love the Eagle any more (or to be more accurate, hate it any less), but the absence of One Ex Music Editor makes my heart sing and almost makes me excited enough to go back and actually work there as opposed to me coming up with my own story ideas and writing them because I feel like it. Almost.

5. The Election Is Over. No more "race for the White House." No more "controversy." Granted, we'll still have to examine Obama's presidency, but for the love of Mike, I don't want to hear another word about Sarah Palin. And considering my courses, I don't think I will.

BONUS (because I feel mildly bad that I legit missed my friday five)

6. This Is A New Semester. A lot, and I mean a LOT, of shit happened in Fall '08. Some of it made me better, but some of it made me a whole lot worse. By the simple fact that This Is Not That Semester, Spring '09 has to be something good.