I'm tired of getting even, let's get odd, odd, odd...

I first found Matt Nathanson when I was seventeen.  His album, Beneath These Fireworks, pretty much rocked my world.  As Elie and I were discussing on the way home from the show last night, his music became so much a part of my identity.  It also became my inspiration- to start writing music, to keep writing music, to keep trying to put these imperfect thoughts into perfect, cohesive words.  (Most of the time, I fail.)

My number one concert of all times was seeing him at Jammin Java for the double show, with my Matt.  Him, guitar, crowd.  It was religious and blasphemous and so fucking fantastic that nothing, nothing could ever touch that night.  God.  I honestly can't even begin to try to describe.

Last night's show was amazing.  I had some of the best people in the world around me, I shot the whole concert, he played Angel and a brand new song, Bottom of the Sea that ripped me up.  The transparency with which he played Falling Apart killed.  He was funny and obscene and everything he always is.

I've always disapproved a bit of those fans that abandon musicians when they achieve what every other person strives for in this world - success.  Success is not bad.  Success is what keeps your musician touring, my elite, music friends.  Your removed bitterness at "your" artist's climb to the top is shallow and meaningless.  I am thrilled for Matt that he is finally getting to show the world how fantastic he is.  The world is realizing real music still exists.  They're about to be inspired.

But.

I love it, I love him... but I'm never going to get another show like Jammin Java.  And yeah.  That makes me bitter.