I am entirely unsatisfied with life right now.
I realized how boring I have become. I don't have any glorious tales of college debauchery, depraved make-outs or even innocent mischief to entertain. All of my time is spent doing homework or working. Literally. Save a few episodes of SVU (my newest addiction), I'm 100% schoolified.
I keep wanting that... brush of glory, the ridiculous story that provides enough fodder for a good week's of reliving. A homeless man accosting me. Getting it on in the dark room. A food fight in the cafeteria. Almost being hit by a car. Seriously, anything to just relieve me of the paranoia tied to my planner.
I never thought this would be me, you know? I was supposed to be the crazy, independent, music video fantasy, indie girl who would walk barefoot, play the piano and write horrible poetry. Not the girl burdened by textbooks, a fucking Mac laptop and responsibilities to the corporate University! When did this happen? How did I come to this?
There's got to be more. Where are the corners to turn, the doors to open, the windows to crawl through? Is 21 going to be the prize behind door number two? Will the party really kick into high gear with presents, fire and the spiked punch?
Or am I pinning hopes on the donkey that are only going to leave me dizzy and totally missing the target?
1 comments:
Dear... School is school. It's not life. Sometimes it supersedes life briefly, but life is still waiting for you. There are weeks and months when you will, unfortunately, become just a cipher for your professors, but it won't be forever.
That brush of glory will return.
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