He said something when I interviewed him that really struck a chord with me. We were talking about relationships, and while comparing that struggle to the fight with the record industry, he said, "You think that 'when I date someone that's amazing, beautiful and cool, it'll make me beautiful and cool.' It's going to fill in all these places that aren't full."
I think that is one of the most beautiful sentiments ever crafted.
I think, deep down, I know that I wanted to date Kevin to fix myself. I wanted to date him because he was so new, so different. So unlike anything I'd ever seen, let alone had the chance to touch. To mean something to. He made me believe I was beautiful, and that's something I still haven't (and perhaps never will) believe. He made me believe that out of a sea of people, a boy could pick me.
Maybe, in a way, I was looking for validation, but it was more a search for that missing piece of yourself. The Origin of Love. You think you recognize a part of yourself in someone else's eyes, you think that maybe if you could just communicate and find that soul-shattering love, it would all be okay.
I suppose that's what he was talking about. What this song is about.
But I learned that the soul-shattering love isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It hurts, it strangles and it leaves you so impeccably broken. I learned there are some people the soul can never forgive. I learned that even though there are days that I've realized I've made it through without thinking about Kevin, I will never repeat that experience.
I learned that he was right, and I was wrong.
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