friday five

Top 5 Thoughts About My Relationships from Matt

He gets a lot of practice being my best guy friend.

1. "The art of conversation isn't completely dead, don't kill it."
If you can't tell, the brutal honesty keeps me in line. I get so tired of trying to reason with males and eventually give up - and then Matt says something like this.

2. "I don't deny that you're truly fine with things now, but if you keep being friends with benefits, you're going to keep liking him, most likely more, and then you're going to WANT more emotionally, and I don't think that process is going to take very long."
Matt can make me see things that I probably know deep down and just want to ignore. To this day, I'm not sure how he got to know me so well in so short a timespan. I think I attribute this to our friendship forged in theatre.

3. "I think I've come up with new theory that you should embrace. We'll call it "Traci, Version 2.0". Guys have fucked you over so badly that you're emotional psyche (at some points, not all) couldn't BE any worse (no offence) that at this point you should just be like, screw it, and go do whatever you want because you can't get more screwed over by people than you've already been."
An interesting perspective, and one I've never truly been able to embrace, though it definitely looks appealing on paper.

4. "If they're so immature that they can't be just friends with you, then they're dumb anyway."
Story of my life. I've found it's incredibly hard to backtrack once you've started down a particular path, especially for guys (or at least, the ones I'm attracted to). This flippant dismissal towards a boy I care about is literally one of the hardest things for me to do.

5. "If you were a bitch, and you still were attracted to assholes, than it would be a power struggle until you stopped dating and the whole relationship would be a roller-coaster in a different sense than how it usually is for you. But you're not a bitch, you're normal and nice, but you're still attracted to that same sort of guy so, eventually, he's just going to fuck you up and you won't have that effect on him. The level of sarcasm and wit you protray from the get go is RIGHT in the middle between "sarcastic but in a sweet way" and "sarcastic and bitchy" and so some guys just think it goes to the latter and go with it."
Perhaps one of the most significant, defining characterizations of my love life, ever. It's both straight forward and sympathetic, which is a very difficult balance to strike, but Matt does it pretty flawlessly. I actually learned to stop blaming myself, just a little less, after this conversation.