the perfect guy

When I was younger, various literature told me it was wise to make lists of the qualities and characteristics that were necessary to your soulmate so you wouldn't settle. I, being the sheep I am, followed that advice. In some ways, I honestly think it helped me (though not for the obvious reasons). I wish I could look at one of those old lists and see what naive!Traci thought her perfect guy would be.

I'm not saying all these qualities must be present in someone I date. But this list features personality traits- not interests, careers, physical features. These are, in my opinion, fundamental pieces of simply being a good human being and one who is worth giving up my singleness to embark upon a relationship.

(And yes, these are all qualities I've experienced/should've experienced/wish I hadn't experienced. If you're really up for a challenge, match these items to the corresponding male who inspired them from the previous post.)


The perfect guy won't be afraid. Of me, of the relationship, of the future. He will be the one that is ready to explore, conquer and triumph, convincing the reluctant me that this is worthwhile.

The perfect guy won't make excuses. He'll accept no BS, mine or his. He'll own up to mistakes, he'll kindly correct those that are wrong, he won't cop out when he feels it's getting too tough.

The perfect guy will commit. I will not be a choice for him, a supplement for whenever he pleases. He will be there when he should be there, emotionally, physically, mentally.

The perfect guy won't play games. He won't make me jump through hoops to find him. He won't fuck with me just because he can. Instead, he will be honest and say what he means to say without hidden agendas.

The perfect guy will fight. For me, about me, and even at times with me. He's not going to lay down and let anyone (me included) make stupid decisions without having an arms race.

The perfect guy will respect me: as a woman, as a human, as the capable, strong, impossible, insecure being that I am.

The perfect guy will be able to look at where he is and be content.

The perfect guy won't hurt me to remember.

The perfect guy won't be in my head.

The perfect guy knows he isn't.